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I have been close companions with a woman, who has overcome many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly caught off guard in relationships. Her partner walked away, which came as a huge shock. Many of her social circle vanished during that time, because they seemed drawn to the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She put in more effort in our friendship, and must have grasped better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart and she isn't certain of the reason. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, both of us stepped back from work leading to more each other more, yet I realize the part I play in the relationship is to listen. I start discussion points only for her to redirect them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. I attempt to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a vacation abroad I know well on several occasions and lived in for some time. My intention was to provide insights, but this was not welcomed. She purely solely sought my agreement with her plans. I recently come back from 30 days there she hopes to meet, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

You could end things abruptly, but it is not often the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation with a view to working things out requires bravery and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step is to state what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. Step two involves sharing the way it makes you feel. This allows for no argument on this point. What you feel are valid, of course. Finally is to question ways you together going to change the pattern of your friendship."

Consider she too holds perspectives, so you need to remain ready to hear that. An approach that works involves stating to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's wildly impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

She could ignore all you say, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative of their life they're unable to release as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no thoroughfare in such cases, mere obstacles. But she may start out like this before reflecting on your words. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it provides closure knowing you were truthful.